Half Life (By Mega Mewtwo)
Announcer1: "I'ts a beautiful day here in Battletopia, so we're causing some Thunderstorms to wreck it!!"
Announcer2: "Battletopia? That's a LAME name. Don't you mean Gold Saucer?"
Announcer1: "Hey hey!! Don't be that way, it's the only thing I can think of!!"
Announcer2: "I thought as much. But back to our point."
Announcer1: "Oww!!"
Announcer2: "Not that kind of point, you dipstick!! Grrrrrr.......ANYWAY, this is a fresh new start for the Gold Saucer."
Announcer1: "Eeew, it doesn't smell fresh to me!!"
Announcer2: "SHUT UP!! We're on TV right now, smart one!!"
Announcer1: "Really?!! Do I look okay?!!"
Announcer2: "Pipe down, everybody in the world is watching!!"
Announcer1: "Hi mom!!"
Announcer2: "GAAAAAAARRRR!!! Just start the fight already!!"
Announcer1: "Today's battle is between Terra and Tarri of Team Rocket. I'm betting that Tarri is gonna kick some BOO YAH.
Announcer2: "Terra forever. Winner takes that Gummy rat."
Announcer1: "Prepare to lose."
DING DING DING!! The bell sounds.
Tarri: "Come on Blastoise!! UUURRRRRRGGGGHHH!!"
Tarri and a bunch of Shinra Soldiers are trying to push a fat Blastoise through the door.
Terra: "Heh heh heh, Articuno!! You should be able to knock it out cuz it didn't go on weight loss!! If you mess up, we're being dissed on live TV, so get it right."
Articuno: "You too, lady."
Tarri: "I can see it all now, Blastoise!! You'll squish that Articuno!! Then Terra will HAVE to go out with me!! Oooooohhhh Terra......"
Blastoise: "Give it a rest, lover boy."
Tarri: "Uh.......did you just hear that?"
Blastoise: "Do you think the whole world doesn't already know?!!"
Articuno starts off with Ice Blade, and she freezes the water elemental. The audience can hear Blastoise saying baaaaad words inside the ice. Articuno flies in circles around Blastoise's ice capsule and confuses him inside it. In the capsule, Blastoise trips over his own tail and breaks the ice with his weight. He falls on Articuno and crushes her. This buids up Articuno's limit meter and allows it to use a Limit Break.
Articuno: "Austa la vista, ugly!!"
Articuno uses the Moogle Rank Limit Break, Deluge, on Blastiose. Blastoise gets up and uses Bubblebeam on Articuno. In return she gives him Water Gun, followed by Surf.
Tarri: "No!! She's using My Blastoise for a Surfboard!!"
Terra: "Surfin USA!!"
Blastoise uses Mega Kick and hit Articuno.
Terra: "Come on you big Canary!! Get up!!"
Tarri: "So there it is, Terra. What do you think of me and my Blastoise now?"
Terra: "Dumb luck!! Just get up already....."
Articuno uses Sky Attack, then uses Wing Hit to double the damage. Blastoise uses Bubble, folowed by Ice Blast. Articuno has enought Power to use another limit break, so she tries it. But Blastoise shields his big butt with his shell, and the Limit Break backfires on Articuno, who absorbs it like a sponge.
Terra: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Tarri: "Will you go out with me NOW, Terra?"
Terra: "It's not over yet!! Get up, you ostrich!!"
Articuno forces itself up and uses Cut on Blastoise. Blastoise tumbles over. It is sooooo fat, that it cracks a hole in the stadium floor. Articuno stands over the hole and shoots Ice blades down toward Blastoise in the hole.
Announcer2: "Ah, that was 2,000,000 dollars worth of gold right there!!"
They needed 10 cranes to haul the fainted Blastoise out of Gold Saucer.
Terra: "Looks like our DATE is heading toward FATE. See ya."
Tarri: "This always happens to me!!"
Announcer2: "Well mate, looks like you owe me a gummy rat. Hand it here so I can, hee, hee, hee."
Announcer1: "Okay!! Whatever you say, pal!!"
Before Announcer2 can take the gummy rat from him, Announcer1 eats it right up.
Announcer2: "Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!! I'm having MM put you on the Wall of Shame.
Announcer1: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Announcer1 coughs up the salivatated gummy rat.
Announcer2: "Too late."