"Hey, you Charmander! Get back here!" I yelled to a tiny Charmander.
"Char, Char, Charmander!" it giggled. I could barely run anymore, that overgrown lizard was so fast. So, I just pounced at it. I grabbed it up and it perched on my shoulder.
"Hop in." I said, holding out a fresh Pokeball. He dove in and I closed it up.
The Pokeball wiggled a few times and he popped his head out and laughed, "Charmander!" before diving back in.
"I think I'll call you Lazer." I told my Charmander. 'Now don't be mean to my Bulbasaur and my Dewgong.'' I added. I walked along through the grass, thinking to myself: "Catch Cubone, Growlithe, Gloom and Cloyster."
I suddenly entered a gloomier area. There were trees surrounding me. A few had claw marks on them. About 5 or 6 Charizards jumped at me. They roared and growled and glared at me. "This is starting to look like The Adventures of Hope that we read in the library, huh, Lazer?"
Then when I looked closer, they seemed like Cubones. Then when I put my contacts in, I saw that they WERE Cubones. A bunch of them ran at me and started bone-clubbing my feet. One just stood there watching me, only moving when I did. I threw an Ultra ball at it. The ball bounced an wiggled, rolled and jiggled, but the Cubone couldn't break free.
* * *
Still stuck in the deep, dark woods, I fell into a Pokemon poacher's hole, probably belonging to Team Rocket. Lazer spotted an underground passage leading to a new area. We tiptoed through, cuz if someone or something was sleeping, we wouldn't want to be the ones to wake it up.... A blue glow lit up the huge cave. Mushrooms grew around the sides, and they were bigger than me. I paused in terror. There was a crumbling sound behind me. The rocky ground was crumbling into bits and disintegrating into the bottomless pit below. I ran for my life until I nearly fell off the cliff.
A friendly Charizard was at the other side. he used his neck as a bridge for me to walk across.I said thanx to the Charizard and ran to the sunlight that shone through the exit. That tunnel I went through just led me from Viridian Forest to Lavender town, Lazer. But, if I came through that, than where's Rock Tunnel?
I saw a cave next to Mushroom Cave that was blocked off by rocks. That WAS Rock Tunnel, wasn't it, Lazer? Lazer? Lazer was staring at something behind me. It was a Paras and a Parasect. I pulled out a Pokeball.
"Ahhhh!" the two mushroom Pokemon yelled and ran back into Mushroom Cave.
"Gotcha!" I said. I tossed the Pokeball. It was really a painted baseball.
"Hey, you brat! Trade you a Rattata for all your Pokemon!" some dumb Team Rocket guy said.
"Oh puh-leeeeeeaase. I'm not falling for that. You're the 4th person to pull that. Do you know how old that prank is?" I told him. " Jeez leweeze, all right already, motor mouth!"
I just walked away and forgot about the whole thing. I sat down on a rock to have lunch. There were sounds behind me.
"Is that you, Misty? Brock?" I looked back there. "WHOA!!! What kind of a Pokemon is THAT?!?!?!" I yelled. "Lazer, Dewgong, Bulba, GO!!" I yelled.
"Yeeeeooowwwwwccchhh!!!" my Bulba and Dewgong yelled as they fainted.
"It's up to you, Lazer!!" But the odds were 1 out of 1000 that my Charmander would win, (cuz I mean, a L:15 Charmander vs. a L:23 Missigno? Get real.) But I prayed for Lazer to win anyway.
"Lazer, Flamethrower!" I yelled. Lazer spewed flames at the Missigno. I saw my chance, so I took it. "Pokeball, GO!!" I yelled, throwing the Pokeball. What a mistake. That was the fako-ball to scare 'em away. The Missigno didn't run, It hurt Laser with Psybeam.
This time, I used a real Pokeball. REAL Pokeball. "GO!!" I yelled and threw it at the Missigno. "YESSSSS!!! I CAUGHT MISSIGNO!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!" I yelled, dancing around the field. Then I heard pitiful cries. It was Laser.
"Don't worry, Laser. You're still my favorite Pokemon." But then I saw .... he had a huge wound. I ran to the Poke Center as fast as my little legs would carry me. I healed all the Pokemon I had and ran to Professor Oak.
"Hmmm, He looks okay, a little scared, but other than that, just fine, Ash." he told me. But when I was about to put him back in the Pokeball, He started spewing flames all over.
"Professor, don't just stand there, DO SOMETHING!!!" I yelled over the sound of roaring fire.
"Well, at least he lit up my fireplace! Just kidding! Ash, he's only evolving!" Oak anounced. We waited and waited, but he wouldn\'t stop flame-throwing. Finally, he got tired out and fell unconscious.
"Ash! Get him to the Poke Center! If a Pokemon cant't evolve, then that's a problem!" Professor Oak told me. I ran to the Poke Center (yet again.)
"Heal him, doc! Please!!" I cried. The nurse took poor Lazer in the back room. Later she came out, her eyes starting to tear.
"Ash, he's gone. He will be taken to Lavender immediately." Nurse Joy told me.
"Oh okay. Bye, Lazer." I moaned. I went to Lavender Town with him and brought a bushel of flowers for him.
At the funeral, the guy asked "Does any one have something to say?"
"He was my favorite Pokemon I had, rest in peace, Lazer. My other Pokemon have a song to sing for him," I anounced.
"Bulba-saur, Bulba-saur, Missignoooooo, Dewgong-gong, Bulbasaur, Missigno, Bulbasaur, Dewgong-gong, Gong!" they sadly sang.
"We'll miss you, Lazer." I said. I put the flowers in his coffin. Just then, his eyes popped open.
"Char, Char?" he asked.
"What?" He wasn't dead? "Lazer, you little scoundrel!" I laughed and hugged him.
"Hummph, we started this funeral for nuthin!" the Preacher said.
I ran home to make Lazer a big burger. After all that, he must have been hungry!!
Char, Char, Charmander! (In human talk, THE END (until next time!)
© Mega Mewtwo -- reprinting available by permission only